The Only Thing That Sucks More Than Your Face is Your Politics

Politicians are an extremely ugly group. Perhaps from the years of working long hours, perhaps selling one's soul takes a physical toll. Regardless of the reason, professional politics is a job for ugly people like stereotypical dumb hot blonde Hollywood roles are for dumb hot blondes. But as this year's of crop of failed and current presidential candidates shows, their crappy politics suck even more than their saggy faces. Let's examine some cases.

Ron Paul:

On foriegn policy matters, Ron Paul either is monumentally ignorant on history, or he thinks he is campaigning in the 1930s. Isolationism? We tried that before dummy, it didn't work out so well. Trying to pretend that other countries don't exist works as well as closing your eyes and thinking other people can't see you because you can't see them. America will not become invisible by ignoring the rest of the world. The last time we tried this, the rest of the world thanked us with Pearl Harbor. And we will have similar results if we try it again.

Barak Obama:

What are Obama's political views? Who the heck knows? The one thing he does want to make clear to me, you and everyone else is that he is not a Washington insider. What Mr. Outsider consistently fails to mention is that he is an insider in the Illinois political machine which ranks right below Zimbabwe in terms of corruption.

The most corrupt governments in the world:

1. Zimbabwe
2. Illinois state government
3. China
4. Cuba
5. Every shit eating country in the Middle East

Congrats dirt bag, you are even more skilled at participating in corrupt politics than the rest of the Washington crowd. An Illinois insider bragging that they are a Washington outsider is like a PETA member bragging that they don't eat animals but do eat people. Fortunately there is a cure for Illinois politicians. They cower before guys named Fitzgerald like vampires before a cross.

Dennis Kucinich:

A picture is worth a thousand words.


John McCain:

He thinks that teaching Creationism "Science" should be decided by individual school districts. Great idea, why not let every district make up its own mind on the definition of all words? Creationism is not a science. It cannot be observed and tested, which real scientific theories can be. Perhaps he also thinks that schools should teach that Noah's Arc is the reason some animals exist and others are extinct (they drowned). Why not teach the Book of Genesis along side astronomical observations to explain how the universe came to be? A background of microwave radiation that shows traces of the Big Bang? That was on the first day. Try keeping real science in the science classes and stories of faith in theology classes douche bag.

Mike Huckabee:

Not to be outdone by McCain's pandering to Christian conservatives Huckabee takes it a step farther and is one of the people McCain panders to. He spends his free time disbelieving in evolution and spends his work time advocating putting the 10 Commandments up in schools. Seeing as how these guys want to use the class room to promote their politics and religious views, I have a proposal, instead of using numbers to teach math, we can use politics. For example:

Astronomy + dinosaur bones / evolution = Creationists are a bunch of idiots

Mitt Romney:

It isn't actually possible to agree or disagree with Romney on anything because he agrees with every position under the sun. It just depends on who he is trying to please at the moment. He flip flops so much that he is actually more like John Kerry than John Kerry is. Once he was changing positions so rapidly that Teresa Heinz Kerry got confused and tried to make out with him and Kerry's kids have mistakenly given Romney Christmas presents instead of their dad three different years.

Hillary Clinton:

It turns out my original premise, that politician's views are even uglier than their faces is wrong. Despite having never been right about anything in her entire life, Clinton's face is still uglier than her views. She is so ugly that her ugliness f***s up the space-time continuum. Historians have recently discovered that her ugliness inspired the ancient Greek myth of Medusa Gorgon, thousands of years before she was born. Try to tell the difference between these pictures:






















That is right, it isn't possible. Not from face shots only anyway. The only known possible difference is that the Greek myth never specifically mentions Medusa having cankles. As is well known, cankles are the ugliest possible trait a woman can have, therefore Clinton beats Medusa for the title of Ugliest Woman Ever.

Senator Clinton needs a remedial math refresher

During the debates a reporter asked Senator Clinton why she thinks that she would be a better president than Senator Obama; he underscored this question by reminding the senator that she had served in public office for only a few years more than her competitor (Senator Clinton has been a senator for approximately 8-years) and yet she constantly refers to her much greater experience both as a necessity and as a kind of sideways dig against Senator Obama. Her answer began "I have 35-years of experience..."

By the way, that would be a lie. That's the word one uses to describe a false statement.

Continuing... She then went on to describe her graduation from law school and her desire to not join a firm; and instead to help impoverished children and people without healthcare. This explanation continued to her time as First Lady, leading to present day.

So apparently, Senator Clinton considers graduating law school as the beginning of a political career and *day dreaming* about helping people as the same thing as *actually* helping people.

This is why I must maintain that "either one" with regard to the leading Democratic party candidates would not be good. There will always be differences of opinion, but this was an easy-to-answer question, clearly stated, and the senator chose to disrespect the journalist by simple denial. Pathetic.

On a side note: There's also the glaring contradiction in Senator Clinton's constant claim that she represents true "change" yet simultaneously she is maintaining that she's been a politician for 35-years. But that's another post.

Hillary ClinTax = Economy in Toilet

Hillary Clinton would raise taxes if she is elected president. Sharply...She says that she will “…let President Bush's tax cuts for top earners expire." ...this means that she will raise the top bracket (for those earning more than $200,000 a year) on income taxes from the 35 percent to which Bush cut it, to the 39.6 percent to which her husband raised it in 1993...

It also likely means increasing the tax on capital gains from the current 15 percent to at least 20 percent and probably to the 30 percent level backed by most liberals. Some even believe she may eliminate capital gains taxation entirely...

She certainly would repeal Bush's tax cut halving the tax rate on dividends and would raise it from its current 15 percent to 30 percent. She would also most likely end the planned elimination of the estate tax and probably reduce the size of estates subject to the tax....

She has specifically refused to rule out a big increase in Social Security (FICA) taxes...Hillary would...either raise the limit — at least doubling it — or eliminating it altogether. A self-employed American making $250,000 a year currently pays $12,125 in FICA taxes (12.5 percent x $97,000). If the threshold were eliminated, his FICA tax would jump to $31,250!

Congressman Charlie Rangel and Senator Chuck Schumer, both close Hillary allies...are paving the way by their proposed tax increases. The Schumer-Rangel bill was first, superficially, an attempt to repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT.)..Rangel's staff is "hard at work on an audacious plan that over the next decade would redistribute up to a trillion dollars in American income through the tax system."...she told a San Francisco audience in 2004: “We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

Yo - democrats - what do you think...

Okay, so this post isn't for you screaming righties with nothing to say - so don't bother.

The various candidates are starting to come out with their "Ideas" for what they'd do - Most notably, Hillary has presented her big health care thing.

I don't know about you, but I'm disappointed. Sure, it's bold & all, but it's one more big-spending item and until we get the budget under control, I don't think putting forward a big-bux initiative is smart at all - and I think most voters know it. Is there a need for reform in healthcare? Yes. Is her solution the right one? I don't know... but I do think that proposing that we spend a bunch of money we don't have (or will have to raise taxes to get) is NOT a good idea right now.

Of course, no one else is even suggesting much of anything except that we get out of Iraq (which is fine by me) so Hill gets points for being politically brave... but I don't know if she's being smart here.

Thoughts?

Oh, and I'm still a registered libertarian, but since I will be voting democratic in 08, no matter WHO runs, I'll be re-registering soon.

Giuliani attacks Clinton over $5,000 baby bond

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani attacked New York Sen. Hillary Clinton Friday for entertaining the idea of giving every newborn child a $5,000 bond.

Speaking at the American's for Prosperity Foundation Summit, the Republican White House hopeful criticized Clinton’s proposal for its high cost and said such a suggestion shows the Democratic presidential candidate’s lack of executive experience.

"Do you know the first question I asked? ‘How many children are born in the United States?’ Because, I was going to multiply that by the $5,000,” Giuliani said. “Because I ran a city. I've run a business. I know how to make a payroll and I know how to reduce expenses. ‘Do you know how much money it is per year?’ Twenty billion."

“Hillary, that's real money," he added. "You and Bill can't afford that. It's got to come out of somebody's pockets. You know who it comes out of?”

Giuliani went on to criticize Clinton, as well as fellow Democratic White House hopefuls Barack Obama and John Edwards charging that they are seeking "on-the- job executive training."

"In the case of the three leading Democrats, [they] have never run a city, they've never run a state, I don't think they've ever run a business," Giuliani said. "This is why they make proposals like this."

At a forum hosted by the Congressional Black Caucus last week, Clinton said, "I like the idea of giving every baby born in America a $5,000 account that will grow over time, so that when that young person turns 18, if they have finished high school, they will be able to access it to go to college or maybe they will be able to make that down-payment on their first home."

Speaking to supporters in Chicago Thursday night, Clinton said that the proposal was only an "idea" not a policy of her presidential campaign.

"I was just trying to start a conversation, which I think is an important conversion, about how we make sure children from middle class, working families, poor families, have access to all the opportunities in life that many of us try to provide for our own children," she said. "So I am looking for a conversation and that was just an idea I threw out to see what kind of reaction I'd get."

If you vote for Hillary Clinton, are you getting two presidents for the price of one?

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton has said his wife wants him to lead efforts to rebuild the United States' tarnished reputation abroad if she is elected to the White House next year.

The former president made the comments in interviews released Friday in Britain where he was fundraising for Hillary Rodham Clinton, the front-runner for the Democratic Party nomination for next year's presidential election.

Clinton was asked what his public role might be if his wife becomes president, in interviews with The Guardian newspaper and British Broadcasting Corp. television.

"What Hillary has said is that if she were elected she would ask me, and others — including former Republican presidents — to go out and immediately try to restore America's standing, go out and tell people America was open for business and cooperation again," he was quoted as telling The Guardian newspaper.

He said for the first time in his political experience, "ordinary Americans in the heartlands" were concerned about how the world sees the U.S. after years of unilateralism of U.S. President George W. Bush's administration on issues such as Iraq, climate change, and nuclear nonproliferation.

"The collective effect of that was to enrage the world at the very moment when we had more world support than we've had in recent memory because of 9/11. It was an unbelievable turnaround," Clinton was quoted by The Guardian as saying.

Clinton hails N. Korea accord
As an example of how the U.S. can win by working with others, Clinton pointed to the six-nation North Korea arms talks this week, where Pyongyang committed to disabling its main nuclear facilities by year-end.

"You can see in the recent success of the North Korean nuclear effort that when America moved from unilateralism to working through, and with, others it works pretty well," he said on the BBC.

In addition to a fundraising event for his wife, Clinton was in Britain to promote his new book about philanthropy, "Giving."

Since leaving office in 2000, he has dedicated himself into promoting global philanthropy through his foundation.

Last week, he hosted his third annual Clinton Global Initiative, a forum where world leaders from the world of politics, business, entertainment and nonprofit organizations discuss climate change, poverty, health care and education.

Participants are expected to commit time or money to the conference's big issues and those who do not fulfill their pledges are not invited back.